Edison Kay Jenks

We got a new nephew Edison!! He was actually born on Tuesday, July 26 but I got the great opportunity to hold him today. I was so excited to see him! I didn't want to put him down and was hoping I could take him home. Just kidding!! I know that Amber and Jarom love him so much. I am so happy for them! He was so cuddly and warm. I just loved being able to hold him against my chest and never let go. I love these new born babies. They are a miracle from our Heavenly Father. I love being able to feel so close to heaven by holding God's children. I appreciate Amber and Jarom to let us invade them this evening so I could hold him. Its definitely what I needed. I know that one day, I will be able to hold another little one and call them my own. Until then, I will hold any baby I can get a hold of!! Love the new babies!! Welcome to the Jenks family Edison Kay! You will be loved by lots of people. We love you and enjoyed our time with you tonight!!

Ratio 1:7

Hello everyone! I really want to get my thoughts and feelings out at this time about my d&c and loss. Miscarriage has been my struggle for the past 5 years.

I just want to start out by saying, I really do feel so loved by the people around me at this time. So many people have prayed for me and has given my motivating uplifting thoughts, which I have greatly appreciated. I thought with time, people didn't probably care but I have been taught wrong. I just had to start by saying Thank You to all those kind and loving people that surround me. I love you guys!!

The past couple of weeks have been so hard for me. Nephi and I decided back in March that we would start the adoption process. I have thought about doing this for a couple of years but after hurting so much, I really needed another road of hope. I asked Nephi to pray and fast about it. He was on board. We went to our Education courses, that were truly uplifting and amazing! I know that adoption is something that can bless so many people and its an unselfish act on both parties. So, we got all of our interviews finished, ready to sign up for our home study and get the process going. Then, I realized I was late. I am on time every month without fail so being a week late probably means, Yes I am pregnant. Its so hard for me because seeing those two lines lately feels like I am the boy that cries "wolf", instead of the most exciting news in my life. Don't get me wrong, I WANT a child! Its just when you have had miscarriage after miscarriage and NO ONE seems to be able to answer your questions or even try to begin to answer your questions, you just start feeling like no one hears your cries nor thinks you are really pregnant. Plus you don't want to tell to many people because you just have to go back to tell them after a couple of weeks, "oh by the way, I miscarried again!"

So this time, when we found out, we decided to take a different direction with it. We told them that this will either be number 2 or number 7. We told them that according to our record, its going to be number 7. Its hard to think of a baby that way, but really its the only way to just distant myself so I don't go in to much of a chocolate depression when it became number 7. I really do care about the outcome!!

I feel blessed though with this pregnancy. I was referred to some specialist from some amazing people in my Church ward. So I prayed that I would stay pregnant long enough for an ultrasound and see Dr. Branch. I did go to my original OBGYN to have my HCG levels checked. My levels were going up but not at the rate they were suppose to. Plus, I decided I can't always count on those. My last pregnancy in March, I had the test done twice and my levels went from 700 to 1400 but three days later, lost it. So, I prayed lots to just get through that first visit. When I had my ultrasound the sac was showing it was 4.5 weeks old instead of the 6.5 weeks that I really was at. I was stressed about that but after talking to the nurses, they said that is fine, the date of conception was probably off. I was given the option to wait 10 days or schedule a d&c. Nephi felt that we should wait, so I listened to my husband and we waited. Took more blood to show my levels were going up by only by 500 not the double or triple we should have been getting. Again, the midwife and nurses said they have seen a slow HCG levels in the start and still have a healthy baby in the end. I decided with all the blood I gave, I think someone should invent a same device that you can pluck your blood through your finger and check your HCG levels. I know they have them for Diabetes but they need them for pregnant women that lack patience, LIKE ME!!!

Another struggle I had with this pregnancy is that we didn't have a definite answer. I am a black or white answer but I felt like I was getting gray answers. There was never, you are going in this direction or that direction but you could be going this way or that way. I struggle with it and patience is definitely something I need to work on!!!

On Sunday, I started to spot. I was emotionally all over the place. I ended coming home from church so I could just cry and not have to see all those happy faces. I thought I was headed for miscarriage then but it was never bright red, which is good according to the midwife. I went three days of spotting and took more blood(I am so surprised I have any blood left!! I keep the labs operating and thriving well, I just know it!!). I had an appointment on Wednesday to get a game plan. I was so happy to get a game plan!! I was so surprised that my levels had gone up. It was the ultrasound that told the story. It was the sack that really looked like nothing was in it. I didn't want to see it, I didn't see it until the Dr. Branch told me that the baby's progression wasn't there at all. He told me, its a d&c you will get.

My heart, was sad but I will openly admit, I was Happy!! Was I awful to feel that way? I don't think so. Let me tell you, I have begged doctor after doctor to give me one. For two reasons. One, my father tells me that when my mother was alive and trying to have children, she had multiple miscarriages between us children. There about 4 to 5 years between each sibling. She would have a d&c and the next time she got pregnant, that child would stick and one of us child was born. Apparently this happened with my father's mother too. So can you see why I would just want to try it once? Second reason, Dr. Branch is a reseacher in miscarriages. He wants to test this little sack and see if they can find any answers. I am ready for answers. Good or bad, I am ready for them. Its better than being in the dark, which I feel like I have been for the past 5 years.

I am so grateful for modern medicine. I am so grateful for doctors that are willing to take their time to help is understand what is going on with our bodies. I so want another child! I would love to bear another or if adoption is going to be the way, I am excited for both paths. I know that I am so loved. I am again so grateful for those people that have cared for me and shown their concern for me especially, ward member and neighbors. I love who I am and for this trial. It hasn't been easy but my testimony and faith have been strengthen from it. I so love my husband Nephi! I am so grateful for all of the blessings he has given me. I hope I haven't annoyed him too much :) I am grateful for my parents, my in-laws and my brothers and sisters that have shown great love and concern for me. I also, love my Bentley! She is amazing!! I will push through because of her. I know that no matter what happens, I know that my prayers have been answered.

Thanks for letting me get this all out in the open. I needed my thoughts put out there so I can heal better. Love you all!!

Busy Body!!

I love living in Utah! We celebrate July 24 for our Pioneer Ancestors. I am grateful for their courage to come across the US and find their Zion here in Salt Lake City. My heart is full for those that risk their lives for me and my future!! So since this is a state holiday, Nephi's company gave him Monday, July 25th off.

Sunday night, Bentley convinced Nephi to let us camp outside in the back yard. It was fun to watch all of huge legal fireworks around our neighborhood. Then once we got to sleep, we got ready to go to Lagoon. Nephi and Bentley really wanted to so swimming so I sat on a lawn chair and enjoyed the over casted weather. Then I got to visit with Angie and her family when they came. We left early because we put Bentley back into swimming lessons. She loves the water!! I am hoping it gives her more confidence that she needs. She is always excited to play with children, get a new teacher and have fun in the pool.

She is also getting ready for her piano recital!! Yes, she is in piano. She works hard and does everything her teacher Kara Allen tells her to do. I love that she is willing to play an instrument at an early age. I am just proud of her!!

She is a fun little daughter! She has a great personality!! I thank my Heavenly Father every night that I have her in my life. She really is one of my best friends(who can say that about their daughters??)! We love to keep her body so busy! I love you Bentley Jenks!! Keep up the great job in swimming and piano!

Cousins!!

Hello again! So I had the wonderful privilege to have Ashleigh and Kylie for a couple of days. We usually get them for a week but this summer I decided on a couple of day. I was so excited to have them. I can't believe how beautiful they get each time I see them. They have such fun personalities and Bentley just adores them! I couldn't tell until a day before they were coming, otherwise I would hear about it week long. So since I had them for a short time, I decided that we should have anUnbirthday Party thursday night. We put our names in a pile, choose a name, and went shopping at the Dollar store for that person. I carved cake but wasn't really on the ball, so we went to Walmart and bought the cake. I am not sure that was the best idea only because I ATE the whole thing!! Oh, well! We had fun giving each other the presents then we sang to each other. I have so much fun doing this activity with them. I should have taken a picture, but I was so quick at eating the cake, I didn't have time :)

Friday morning, we decided to go to the "Castle" park in West Jordan. I called Angie(my other

nieces and nephews mother) to come and meet us there so the cousins could met. It was fun to have them see each other. I love hearing about when the last time they saw each other, they played Harry Potter and casted spells or you were a baby just walking when I saw you last. I think its awesome they could come together.

I couldn't resist and take some pictures of them together too!! It was a short time but we ended up going to the lunch park where Tyler(my nephew) didn't want to get a lunch. We all pretty much giving him our beans and hot sauce. He took anything anyone would give him. I thought it was great!! This is a day I will never forget!!

I have to note Ashleigh is one amazing niece! She sure did help me out Friday night and I have so much fun playing Super Mario 3 with her. I hope she will continue to come visit me, whether its for a week or for a day. I also, have to mention, I missed having Bailey come visit. She has been playing in Softball Games. I hope to see her soon in action!! I also have three wonderful nieces that live 5 minutes away that I just adore. I am glad I am surrounded by so many girls!!

Hope everyone is having a great summer with their families! I love having such a fun family! Thanks for everyone that is part of my family!! Love you all!

MeMoriEs!

Hello again!! WAHOO!!! I am writing another post!! I must be on a role! I could resist documenting the last few days.

On Friday, July 15 we went to Kennecott. Hometown Values was my best friend this week and gave us a free pass to see the huge hole.

My husband was so excited!! After working on the 793 engines that are driven up in Kennecott, for the past 7 years, Nephi finally got to see them in action. He was like a little kid and I was excited to show Bentley what her daddy works on. I loved to see the trucks in action, they sure looked like toy "dump

trucks" as far up as we were. We had fun riding the bus up the mountain too! I thought the mountain looked like carmel topping on top of chocolate ice cream(Jenks family LOVES ice cream, makessense why I think the mountain looked like ice cream). We were able to go with our neighbor too! I love their kids!!

After lunch, Bentley wanted to get wet. She LOVES water! She would spend ALL day in a pool, the ocean or anything water if she could. We went for a new pool at our local Walmart but the only thing to choose from was a $199 adult size pool or $8 kiddie pool. So after heading home with our $8 kiddie pool, Bentley turned on the sprinklers

and filling her pool she started playing. I had gone in for a few minutes when I heard Bentley outside singing "I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again!" I laughed so hard! She was pretending that the water from the sprinklers was rain! Oh, I love Bentley! I love that she loves musicals and remembers watching "Singing In the Rain."

I am so grateful to have a happy child. She finds the best moments to make me smile. Even in the rough times, she sure knows how to uplift my spirits. I know whatever happens in the future, I will always have Bentley to hug and love. I had a really great day with Bentley!!

On Saturday, July 16, Bentley got the once in lifetime(okay, maybe once in a few years) chance to be in Youth Parade for the Day's of 47. We were float number 47! It was awesome! We got to walk with your church's ward and stake! It was fun to see Bentley waving to all of the people. We had to wait a long time since we were second to last but it

was fun. Nephi and I were able to walk with her too. I realize but everyone was suppose to be wearing white shirts, not just the kids. I told everyone, we were the devils of the group!! Hehehehe, just kidding, I know we weren't.

It was a memorable day and I love spending all the time I can with my family. I have the best husband and daughter. I hope that one day, we can add to our family. Until then, I will just accept and appreciate what wonderful times we have with each other. I hope everyone takes the time to enjoy the people they are surrounded by. Its those moments that mean the most, especially with the little ones. I know I appreciate what I have! Even though I can become very impatient, its the time I have with them NOW that is the most rewarding. I love you Nephi and Bentley! Thanks for being part of my life!!

Wow!! I am Blogging!!

Hello!! I can't believe I am doing this.... blogging that is!! I thought it was time that I started a blog. I can't promise what things I might post but I thought this would be a great way to get my feelings out and have people get to know us.

First of all, I wanted to tell you about our little family. Nephi(the husband) and Betta(the wife) met at Lagoon, the biggest amusement park in Utah. I lived in Vernal (3 hours away) and Nephi lived in (Perry, no thats not in France :D). My first year at Lagoon, I probably worked with Nephi without really knowing it. I was 16 at the time and working just the summers between school. After graduating from High School, I worked at Lagoon while going to Utah State University. I was horrible and went to college to find my husband. Surprisingly enough, I found him at Lagoon. My first time remembering to meet him was the day after he got home from his mission. His brother Jarom brought him to a Supervisor Meeting in Janurary. I thought he was cute but wow he definitely was a returned missionary!! Then in February there was a returning employee meeting for all employees and Nephi came up and talked to one of my fellow supervisors before the meeting, I couldn't take my eyes off him :) He is CUTE!! and he was going to be in my area(Wahoo!!). Then we had trainings, so my first ride I trained him on was Puff the Dragon (Kiddie Ride). I kept using him as an example so he would remember me. The next ride I trained him on was Red Baron. I decided to train one on one with each employee and thats where we started to talk. After training, we kept talking and I told him he should come in and help us clean. Which he did. We spent more time together and by Spring Break in March, we had our first date. I gave him several opportunities to get out of our date because I didn't find myself THAT beautiful but we went on our date two days early then planned. He made me dinner and we went to the movie "R.M." By General Conference, the first weekend in April. We were engaged. He asked me at my Best Friend April's house. I was writing in my journal because we were having a long night party and Nephi was getting a ride from someone else that wouldn't be leaving for hours so he slept at my feet while I was on the couch writing. As I was writing, he lifted his head and said "Can I ask you a question?" While of course, I said yes. I wondered if he was going to ask me about my favorite jello or something. Instead, he asked "Will you marry me?" We had talked about marriage two weeks earlier so I knew the question would be coming. I said "YES!!!" Then I asked my other best friend Everett if we could use his cell phone. I called my father at 11pm, asking him what he was up too. He said he was sleeping of course. I told him Nephi had a question to ask him and threw the phone at Nephi. Nephi asked me dad for my hand in marriage and my father said if we were both happy of course he could.

On August 16, 2003, we were married in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a very crazy day to say in the least. As we took our pictures at the temple, my husband put our car keys in his temple bag that he gave to my Mommy #2. I didn't know this at the time, as we finished the group pictures, everyone left to get ready for the reception in Perry, the temple bag was taken with the group. So after we finished our pictures just Nephi and I. We ended up hanging out in the garage parking lot of the Conference center. We called my great friends Everett and April to break into my grandma's house and bring us our keys. I couldn't have killed Nephi that day, but I think it makes for a great story. We did make it to our reception on time but my brothers vowed we were late for other reasons.

At the end of 2004, I was taken off my parents insurance so I was able to get birth control. We had just move to Salt Lake City after being up in Logan for a year. Nephi was working part time and going to school at Salt Lake Community College full time. I was working part time at two jobs and we didn't have health insurance. In June 2005, we found out I was pregnant. On February 19, 2006 we had Bentley Jenks. My maiden name is Bentley and as soon as we found out we were having a girl, I knew her name was going to be Bentley. Nephi and I decided if we have any girls, we would like to name them after cars. Seems fitting!! Back to Bentley, she is the light of our lives. She is the sweetest, loving person I have met. She loves everyone she meets and loves to make new friends with kids and adults. One time we went to Wal-Mart with some cousins for a prescription. The line was huge for the Pharmacy and I had noticed a sale at the end of the store we were by. I asked Bentley if she wanted to stay with her cousins or come with me, and she told me she wanted to stay. When I came back 10 minutes later, she had made friends with the lady in front of us. Bentley is a character and loves to be dramatic. Bentley loves to learn, ready books and loves school. She asks me every day, how many days left until kindergarten will start. She loves the water!! Bentley loves to hug anyone and everyone she can.

Nephi is the second oldest of seven children. He grew up on a peach farm, learned to drive on a tractor. He loves creating, writing and watch films. Every year, he loves to voluntary at the LDS Film Festival in Orem. He is entered either a script or 24 hour marathon for the past 5 years. Nephi is a Diesel Mechanic and loves working on engines twice his size. Nephi has a corky sense of humor and loves to laugh. Nephi loves being a father and husband.

Betta is the youngest and only girl of 4 kids. When I was 10, my mother passed away from scleroderma. At age 12, I got another mother and more family. I am currently the youngest of ten children. I love to take pictures. I started photography in my early teens and took flight when I started to work for Kiddie Kandids in 2004. I love being involved with people's lives and capturing those moments that happen quickly. I love to sew but I am just a beginner. I love to scrapbook those thousands of pictures I take of Bentley. After being laid off in January 2010, I didn't think I could be a stay at home. But I am here to say, I LOVE it!! I love being home for Nephi and Bentley. I have the greatest job in the world!

Well, I hope that covers some information about us. I hope I can do this blogging thing. I love reading others blogs! Hope all is well! Have a great day!